Tag Archives: Spirit

Christmas Present

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A splendid diversity of holy-day greetings to all y’all!

For your Christmas present I give you a glimpse of Christmas past and a prayer for Christmas future. This is an excerpt from my book “I Am Liberty, One Mind’s Journey through Ascension,” written ten years ago at Christmas 2001. My 24-year marriage was over and our living arrangement (for the sake of finances) discarded . My shattered family was emotionally raw and fragile.  

My writing (like my life) is an ongoing exchange with God/Self. God’s voice, as it comes to me, appears in italics. My Christmas prayers from 2001 have since been answered in astounding ways beyond my wildest imaginings, and I have a wild imagination!  My life today is filled with grace and so blessed…fulfilled. Stay tuned, because the breathtaking synchronicity of how my prayers were answered is the subject (and more) of my next book, “One Becomes One.” 

We celebrate the birthday of the Prince of Peace is a few days. Will yours be an orgy of consumerism? Have you been suckered once again by the hype and by selfish desires? It’s okay, because you can choose once again, deciding to embrace your own Christ nature and live as he would have us live.

Wonderful God of the Universe, please awaken each heart to embrace a new “ism” this  Christmas and for all time and seasons: compassionism. Help us to truly honor the Prince of Peace by demonstrating the compassionate peace that longs to shine in every heart. Help us and guide us to pay love forward, to give of our time, talents and treasure to the “least of these,” the poor and hungry and homeless, the sick and diseased and hurting, the disenfranchised and marginalized and labelled….Dear God, awaken us to our interdependent oneness with each other, with the Earth and with You.     Amen. 

God bless us, every one. God bless YOU!  ~ Libby

He moved out and we bought a Christmas tree anyway

Yep, he did it. He didn’t wait until I have a job. How is that going to work? He rented an apartment and moved out last Tuesday. He didn’t take much stuff, but we don’t have much extra to be taken. The kids decorated a little Christmas tree for him as a gift and we bought a lovely fir tree from North Carolina for home. A local news crew was taking pictures at the Christmas tree lot and little Isaac’s picture with his Christmas tree made it into the local newspaper.

It’s been over a week now since he left. Today is December 6. The first couple of days were strange and hollow and dark. I didn’t like that place at all. It is a place of grief and mourning for what has been and what will not be. But it is a place of illusion, because now comprises neither what has been nor what will be. In this now, I declare that the ending of this relationship has no power over me. And that will be true until it is not, eh God?

You know waves of mourning will come, little one. There are still triggers in your consciousness, mostly connected to our children. But know this, beloved Liberty, that your desires are so close to fulfillment, you are so near to Perpetual Consciousness…oh, my darling child, if you could but see all that I know for you.

It’s hard right now to believe anything great and wonderful is coming, You know? Yes, that sums up My difficulty quite well. And yet, I do know it. You know, God, that You leave few signposts letting us know where we’re going in Spirit entertain the thought that perhaps you don’t see all the signs well, okay. No argument. You know how much I desire that the perfect publisher pick up this manuscript submission and know that she knows this is You. Waiting sucks and I’m tired of it. That’s the plain truth. Continue on, beloved of Mine, for instantaneous manifestation comes and there You go again, interrupting with a great and wonderful stuff that I KNOW is on the tip of my experience, like a word on the tip of my tongue.

This experience of my marriage relationship breaking: this is the harbinger of the greatness and wonder of Christ manifesting fully in me, through me, as me. I have to know that YOU are my Source, my Abundance, my all and everything in my experience. I still had some dependence on marriage, on sameness and on physical security. These are illusions to be shattered, so You did. Thanks a lot. Really, thank You. This is liberating, and I’m for that. I am that. You said it. The word was made flesh and dwelt among us. Within us. As us. My love for You knows no limit. It grows as I lift it to You, praising You, loving You, faithfully waiting on You. That was a “One Voice” revelation, lovely one. Oh! Oh! Thank You! I feel warmth, a liquid vibration flowing over me. The tone it makes lifts me in His Love.

I’m supposed to go and sign the divorce documents tomorrow. If I did not know in my heart that what is happening is good, if I did not know what God is up to in all of this, my heart would be breaking. And it is, in a way, but what is real cannot be threatened. Why is it I feel so threatened?

Knowing that my Source is You, Wonderful God, I ask for Your abundance to rain down on me and my family. It is clear that our marriage is over, God. Please bless Gilbert beyond what he can ask, think or imagine. My family requires income from a new and wonderful Source. You have given me a dream, a desire deep in my heart, to publish the words You have given to me in our book. I ask that our book be published, and that this be the avenue for Your abundant blessings to flow to and through me. The right and perfect publisher is right now calling me (or e-mailing me or sending me a contract and a check by overnight mail). Confirm Your plan for me by making this so. The abundance that flows through the publishing and distribution of our book will enable me to bless my children, my mother, and my beloved church. The greatness of Your plan for humanity will flow through our book, awakening and enlightening hundreds, thousands, millions of Your beloveds worldwide, bringing them to their own evolution in Spirit.

Father Mother, I want my children to attend the learning institutions of their choice based upon their desires. I want the financial Peace to know this will happen. Mother God, I want to remodel my kitchen. I want to install new windows and landscape the lawn of my home. I want to re-decorate my home to reflect who I am in You. I want the financial Peace to know my mother will be comfortable, all the days of her life. I want to be able to give freely from my abundance. I know that You desire for me more than I could ask, think or imagine. Having placed my desires before You, I surrender to Your Will. I desire above all else to know You, to see You, to be one with You. Thy will be done. In the precious name and one with the wonderful consciousness of Christ Jesus, my sweet Yeshua, I ask and know. This or something better, Lord I Am. And it is so. Amen

Life is so very strange. In such a short time the world and my life have changed so dramatically. I feel dramatic, darting from darkness to light in consciousness, from death to life. Death is the same as life, like the appearance of trees in winter. Joy is the same as sorrow and love the same as fear – all appearances. Finding balance is a constant need. Balance can be found in breathing, you know. You treat breathing as a luxury. God? You have treated breathing as if it is something you cannot afford. It’s been tough getting through, my beloved one, very difficult. I have been in the soup. But I want You so much then take the time to seek Me! But God, I already found You I will let you know when you have reached permanency of Christ consciousness. Still you retreat, eh, beloved? Yes, I do. I know it. In the current time of my life, I find it difficult to trust experience. Since You are the provider of all experience, I am a little gun-shy. I understand. Truly.

God, I want to so purify my being that all of my “Libby-ness”… Ahem, your “Liberty?” Okay. Correction. Purify me, sanctify me; reveal through my being the word Liberty made flesh, fully manifest, fully awake full time, to do Your Work. That is a prayer. That prayer calls for agreement. That prayer calls for declaration.

God, I am so scared. I am just petrified with fear. I feel like a traitor to You. I want to trust You completely, to just fall into that wonderful childlike trusting. I feel like a rat in a brand-new maze, one that is dark and someone keeps opening trap doors in the floor. The floor keeps falling out from under me. I see that all this stuff is just stuff, just appearances. I know You have a marvelous plan for me, waiting just beyond my vision. It’s more than just a little difficult to trust experience. How can I trust? And yet what else is there? Because if I do not trust You, then I block understanding. Trust brings understanding. I need understanding.

I know your needs. I love you tenderly, devotedly. Close your eyes, darling child, and come to Me. I long for your closeness. You long for me? Oh yes…it’s a parent thing, you know? I crave your touch, your fragrance, your holy desire for Me. God? This is where I’m most afraid. I know You are calling me to completion and I am praying myself to completion…it’s like jumping consciously into a black hole, and I’m the only one nuts enough to jump. Am I nuts? I feel so crazy sometimes, believing I am ascending in consciousness, becoming Christ right here and right now in my silly little life. All I have is You. You are entirely everything. And You are not visible, yet appear everywhere. God, I want to be conscious of You, conscious in You, conscious as You.  So the rant is over and again we have agreement. I want you and you want Me. This is where I get to take the final step. Do You mean the “final step” as in the “A Course in Miracles” final step? That’s the final step to which I refer, yes. Oh. My. God. My heart is pounding. I want You to be close like this and I’m terrified at the same time. Oh my God – I’m afraid of You! I don’t want to fear You! I want only to love You!

Then be who you are! That is how you love Me, that is how you do My will and that is how you become the fullness of Christ Liberty, the word made flesh. You have been sent as a messenger of written and spoken word: the word liberty! You are a writer – write! Display your frail humanity and accept your feeling nature in full view of the beloveds who will read these words. Your humanity is important. Remember Jesus? You love his human-ness. Take on that which you are. My beloved and wonderful one, know that I have people lined up to give you My Abundance. Trust in the truth you KNOW and I will eliminate all fear from you. I want you only to love Me, holy Liberty, with more intense desire than your energy fields can possibly contain. This fear will leave you. That is My promise.


Disheartened

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This is me, completely honest.  ~ Libby

Disheartened

Sometimes I get disheartened. Discouraged. My darling husband feels this too.

I know we really have something with our local ministry, Bread of Life. We really have something with our books, “The Future Testament” and “I Am Liberty” and “Signs & Wonders.” People actually call our writings life-changing…even scripture, which is kind of a holy shit moment. People say our teachings and classes are intellectually and spiritually stimulating and fulfilling, “PhD level spirituality,” according to one who would know. We have numerous local connections, so the word is out, too.

Our books and classes are challenging. We have surveyed the Bible, Old and New Testaments, and found new reasons to love this book and new ways to forgive it in the light of the culture and times. We spent a year talking about and experiencing the world’s major religions and their core scriptures, a time of breathtaking awakenings and expansions of thought. We are currently discussing and meditating our way through the text of “A Course in Miracles” and our Bible study has taken a quantum leap into “The Future Testament.”

Our presentation of religious truth is provocative and disagreement encouraged. Conversations are profound, transparent and honest. Listening is intense. We all share the stories of our soul’s progression as we become ready, and the sharing creates deeply meaningful bonds. Music and poems, dreams and journals are freely shared. Healing of mind and body are given unreservedly by loving and practiced healers. Those with something to say are encouraged to teach and given time and space to do so. People actively participate in their own spiritual lives and the spiritual lives of others. We serve God’s children locally, regionally and globally.

We call this “church.”

Some people love the idea, but it’s a small number. Most seem to fear it.

I’m disheartened because I deeply long to awaken the deepest of longings in many, many more people. We are acutely aware that time is of the essence. It’s like a holy ache, this one great desire, to see multitudes of my brothers and sisters remember their oneness with God. But I feel like we’re pushing up against the wall of resistance Marianne Williamson described in her book “A Return to Love”:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

We aren’t “playing small.” We’re out to make manifest the glory of God within us and everyone we meet. So while people who come to us are often irresistibly drawn to the light, fear repels them. Then there are others who have fearful habits of thinking, ideas they’ve adopted because somebody else said so. Things I’ve heard all my life, like “Libby is just so weird” (thinks she’s so perfect/smart, uses such big words, etc.) Ahyh has heard it all too. Still others have habits of loyalty to a person they think has some authority. Many people perceive Ahyh and me as “intimidating,” while those who have gotten over their intimidation realize it was all in their own minds.

All Ahyh and I want to do is to share what we have learned.

There is a frightening specter of numbness in our culture, something that is hardening many of our brothers and sisters into automatons, zombies…the living dead. So many of God’s precious children, satisfied with being followers, blindly parroting polarized views…

On top of that, there is a long-term cultural habit of thinking that tells us in myriad ways that we humans are simply not able to cut it, that we need somebody to do it all for us. People seem to deeply believe this to be true, because in terms of the physical world, we’re constantly waiting and watching for a “Superman” to save the day. Many people world-wide looked with real hope to Barack Obama as political Superman; someone who would fix the mess inWashington.

We’re deeply accustomed to this idea of waiting for a savior. In spiritual terms it’s called the “vicarious atonement,” and according to standard Christian hype, Jesus already did everything for us. All we need to do is believe in him and we’ve got the golden ticket to heaven. Funny thing, though: Jesus didn’t do anything of the sort. His greatest desire was that we would all “take up your cross and follow me.” Following Jesus would mean doing what he did with your own life: feeding the hungry, healing the sick, visiting the widows and orphans and raising the dead. Jesus’ plan doesn’t sound at all like sitting around on the couch, watching TV and throwing down snacks while you wait for him to return and rapture you away.

Your salvation is up to YOU. It’s a decision only YOU can make.

Salvation is remembering your oneness with God. It is at-one-ment, realized; the purpose of every human life. It’s being a living Christ, right in the midst of your own everyday life.

There’s an old hymn that goes “Lord I want to be like Jesus in my heart, in my heart.” To truly manifest the heart of Christ is a long journey, and I wonder how many people are actually willing.

That’s why I’m disheartened.

Thank God tomorrow is another day.